To My Beloved Customers

31 01 2011

Dear pharmacy customers,

We do not live in the deep south, where certain endearments are a cultural norm. I daresay 90% of you have little more than a fleeting connection with the south. (I feel as though I should make a 5% exception for you, mister customer who sounds exactly like Foghorn Leghorn.) We live in Utah, which is very, very far from the south and much more reserved due to our staid pioneer heritage. (What? I can be staid! Shut up. Jerks.)

Now that we’ve established this fact, I have one more thing to say:

The next time one of you refers to me as “sweetie” or “hon” I will reach across the counter and flick you right in the middle of your forehead.

Bless your heart.