We’ll Have a Good Time Then

13 06 2012

On Saturday I was running late as usual. (Say it with me: I KNOW! Who would’ve thought?) As I put on my makeup and tracked how much time I had to get ready for the baby shower that started at 10 am, Big G asked me to play Uno with him.

Note: Uno is one of Big G’s current obsessions. Let’s just say If I woke up tomorrow morning and someone told me Uno had been outlawed, I wouldn’t cry.

After I told him I was (as per usual) late for my intended destination, he found a new target.

“Dad, will you play Uno with me?”

“Not right now, Big G,” Car replied, walking to the next room.

As he walked past me, I couldn’t help myself. I burst into song.

“And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon, Little boy blue and the man in the moon…”

Car turned to glare at me. “I HAVE TO USE THE BATHROOM AND I HAVEN’T HAD BREAKFAST.”

He continued on to the bathroom and I collapsed in giggles.

*Fun fact: before I left for the baby shower, I spotted Car playing Uno. Score one for Harry Chapin!
**If you don’t know the song “Cat’s in the Cradle” you’re the luckiest person ever.
***Seriously. That song plays in my head every damn time I tell my kids I don’t have time for something. I despise Harry Chapin for that.
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I’m a Winner

24 01 2012

Today I found out I won a ticket to the Story @ Home conference from Camille, who blogs over at Make it Work Mom. I’m too lazy to go into detail about the conference other than to tell you the following details:

  1. It’s in March in Salt Lake City.
  2. It’s all about telling your personal stories, which is obviously right up my alley.

You should read up on the conference, and then if you’re into that sort of thing you should sign up for it and come hang out with me. Really, even if you aren’t into that sort of thing, you should come hang out with me, because I’m just that awesome.

Anyway, I was pretty excited to win, because I wanted to attend the conference but didn’t want to shell out the money for the ticket because we’re poor. When Car came home for lunch today, I attempted to share my excitement. The (possibly exaggerated) conversation went something like this:

Me: I won a ticket to a blogging conference! (Yes, I know it’s not specifically a blogging conference, but whatever.)

Car: (After whining about how I’ll probably end up spending money on other stuff even though the ticket is free.) You should probably actually get back to blogging then, shouldn’t you?

Now that it’s a full hour after the conversation ended and now he’s back at work, I have this to say, “Go ahead, Car. Show me the last thing you wrote.

Booyah.

*I totally told him I was blogging about this, lest you think I’m a terrible wife who bitches about her husband behind his back.

**If I really wanted to bitch about him behind his back, I’d need to start another blog, since he reads this one.

***NOT THAT I ACTUALLY WRITE ON THIS BLOG, RIGHT, CAR?

****Sniffle.





I’m Only Thinking of Him

17 02 2011

I’m only thinking of him,
I’m only thinking of him,
Whatever I may do or say,
I’m only thinking of him!
In the very heart of me
There is Christian charity
I’m only thinking and worrying about him!
~ Man of La Mancha

There are times when I wonder why Car stays married to me (correct answer: because I’m awesome).

At bedtime a few nights ago he was reading the usual bedtime story (Planets, Stars, And Galaxies: A Visual Encyclopedia of Our Universe) (What, that’s not what your 5-year-old requests every night?) and he had to put up with this:

Car: “A neutron star isn’t really a star. It’s more like a giant atomic nucleus—”

Me: *Unable to ignore the fact that he pronounced it nuke-u-lus* “A what?”

Car: “A giant atomic nuke-u-lus—”

Me: “I’m sorry, what was that?”

Big G: “He said a giant atomic nuke-u-lus!”

Me: *horrified Big G is now repeating it* “A nuke-u-lus?”

Car: *glaring at me* “Fine. Nucleus. Did you want to read this?”

Me: “Not really. Carry on.”

Fourteen years next month, people. The man is a saint.

Even if he does mispronounce nucleus.





Where the 3-Year-Olds Roam

2 07 2010

I really like where we live. Granted, it’s near a school, so during the year there’s a fair amount of traffic at 8 am and 2:30 pm. Still, it’s a nice little neighborhood. Added bonus: they built the new police station/court building within a mile. Score one for neighborhood safety!

I came home from work one day and Car said, “You’ll never believe this. I looked out the window, and there was a kid in our car!” We own a Mercury Grand Marquis (or “boat”) with doors that won’t lock. Heavy doors. Doors that can be difficult for adults to open. So Car went outside, removed the child from the car and walked him back to his house. There were eight or so kids playing, the eldest of whom said “AJ! You can’t go wandering off like that!” AJ* is three. Clearly a 3-year-old should be sternly disciplined for not being able to properly police himself.

The next day we were in the kitchen when Car said, “That kid is trying to get in our car again!” A few days later, we found popsicle smears on the handle of one of our (thankfully, fully locking) other cars. I found out my next door neighbors have also found AJ trying to get into their truck.

I talked to a neighborhood friend (We’ll call her…Bob. No, I’m kidding. How about Karen?) about this, because I find it highly concerning. About a week later, Karen was babysitting AJ and his siblings. A few hours into the day, AJ turned up missing. Guess where he was? If you didn’t guess “in the car,” you need to work on your logical thinking skills. Karen was so grateful we’d had a talk about his predilection for cars, because that’s one of the last places she would’ve looked. When AJ’s mom came to pick her kids up, Karen mentioned the whole AJ missing and then discovered in the car episode, and AJ’s mom said, “Oh, yeah. I should’ve warned you that he does that.”

What? Am I alone in thinking this is problematic behavior? Those of you that have had/do have 3-year-olds–would you be okay with this?

I’m not trying to be judgmental. I’m just genuinely concerned for this child. AJ shouldn’t be wandering the neighborhood alone. He also shouldn’t be climbing into people’s cars. I have no way to lock our monster car, and the parking brake doesn’t work. I’m stressed that AJ will get into my car and either a) get trapped when the weather is horrifyingly hot or b) put the car into gear (SO glad I don’t live on a hill).

I want to talk to AJ’s mom, but will that do any good if she’s already aware of the problem? I’m not sure what to do here. I don’t want to walk out one day and find a dead 3-year-old in our car.

Any ideas? I’m really stressed about this.

*Names have been changed. I’m awesome like that.

**Hey, WordPress Proofreader? “Should’ve” is a word. Didn’t we have this discussion about “must’ve”? What’s your beef with contractions?

**Apparently you also hate adverbs. And thanks for making me lose 10 minutes of my life trying to decide if I’m completely insane to think that “horrifyingly” is a word, and another 5 trying to decide what part of speech it is. I don’t need this crap. I spent an entire year of 9th grade English diagramming sentences. Or possibly 7th grade. I’m not sure. It was so awful I’ve blocked it from memory. Thanks for making me relive that, jerk.





Not Exactly Priceless

22 05 2010

We have a 1996 Nissan Maxima. It’s a good little car. Sadly, it recently decided it didn’t feel like starting. Bad Maxima! We enjoy being a two car family, so Car took it to the mechanic. To get the full impact of this experience, I have to type what was printed on our invoice. Trust me–summing it up just doesn’t do it justice.

“Customer complains of vehicle having a hard time starting even when warm check and advise needed repairs. We scoped the system, found a bad electrical wave pattern when the car is cranking. We tested the battery, it was testing good, the starter was testing good. After doing some research into this problem [Wait…did they just Google my car problems?], we found a list of items to check. We removed the crank sensor and installed a new one. The old crank sensor was covered in metal. We left the new one in there. We checked the grounds, we moved one of the ground wires over to the starter. We also installed a new ground strap to the engine. When the battery charger was hooked up it started good, but when we removed the charger it had more problems. We then decided to warranty the battery to make sure the battery had full cold cranking power. Still the problem occurred. In our research we also found a difference in the starter motor they were putting in the car. Since we had replaced the starter already. We replaced it as well under warranty. At this time everything is starting good.”

Dude.

Is it just me, or did they just take out anything that might be the problem, replace it, and then hope for the best?

I’m going to figure out a way to implement this strategy in my life. I’m not quite sure how, but it’s so ingenious that I have to try. Wish me luck.

State emissions, safety inspection and registration: $41.95
Removing and then replacing various and sundry parts that might be causing problems: $429.71
Windshield Replacement: $145.00
Labor to replace the starter motor (which was under warranty, but apparently the warranty doesn’t do squat for labor): $80.50
Replaced brake light: $13.83

Having a car that starts? $772.93. Not exactly priceless, but I guess it’s less than a new car.

*The first person who says I got ripped off by the mechanic is going to have body part ripped off by me. I’m so not kidding.