22 06 2014

Okay, so it’s been over a week. I’m doing my best here, people.

Today I turned 38. Not a very big milestone, though it’s odd to think I’m merely two years away from 40. I’d like to say I’m another year wiser, but you’d probably all laugh at that (rightfully so). So really, 38 isn’t very big news. But here’s the thing—in just over a week, I’m having a procedure that will end my reproductive years.

I’ve known since we had Little G that we were done. I have no desire to give birth again.

Still, I mourn.

I mourn the passing of that stage of my life, and I wonder what to expect in the years to come.

I wonder about the woman that I am becoming. The woman I can become. The woman I will become.

I push down the little voice inside of me that says I will be less of a woman when I’m no longer capable of procreation. Womanhood is not dependent upon the ability to bear children, I tell myself, and most days I believe it.

I imagine the relative freedom of life with older children. What will I do with myself? How will I fill my time? I have so many questions, and only time will provide the answers. I’m not a patient woman. It grates at me to not know what’s coming.

Still. Whatever may come, whoever I may become, one thing is sure: it will be glorious, because it will be me.


*For those of you wondering, I’m having an endometrial ablation on July 1. So I’ll still have all my girl parts…they just won’t function like they used to. Whee!



4 responses

23 06 2014
Nicole the weaver

I had half of my girl parts taken a couple of years ago and I am soooooo glad I did. I kept coming back to my doctor saying, “Okay, now this is going wrong. Can I have the surgery NOW?!” But yeah, you also mourn a little.
Also, don’t feel like you are being pressured by us to write. You do what you have to.

23 06 2014

I can’t tell you how your 40s will be, but I’m here to report this: my 50s, which began with an ablation, totally rock. You are becoming a wise elder… it takes a little getting used to, but it’s not a bad gig. Not a bad gig at all.

23 06 2014

The essence of you is in your personality, your unique approach and your determination to be the best you possible. How you deal with problems and how you strive and succeed is inspiring for others. Keep on being you please! That is who we love and admire

22 06 2014
Annette Lyon (@AnnetteLyon)

Bittersweet. But YES, it will be glorious no matter what. You are pretty dang awesome.

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