“…and please bless mom that she can be happy.”
It breaks my heart.
I don’t want my boys to even know about depression, much less have personal experience with a loved one who suffers from it. I don’t want to miss soccer games because I’m exhausted from ECT treatments, or because I’m just too sad to leave the house. I don’t want to dread helping in their classes because of the massive effort it takes to convince myself to face a roomful of strange children.
I want to clean the house. I want to cook dinner. I want to play games. I want a smile and a laugh that appear at the slightest provocation.
I don’t want to be a depressed person. I don’t want to be a depressed mom.
It’s a simple prayer, really.
Please, God. Help me not be depressed.
Please.
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I’m thinking about you often and sending light and love.
Your boys will grow up with compassion and an understanding of life’s struggles. They have already learned about praying for heavenly help. Don’t discount the good you do in their lives. You love them. They know that. (There are plenty of moms out there who are perfectly healthy who don’t do those things because they don’t care. The fact that you do shines through.)
Simple words, but not so simple request. A lot of people in the middle of depression wouldn’t even think about how it could affect their kids. You DO. That says volumes about who you are, where you are, and where you and your kids will end up.
You are fighting and will win. Your boys will be stronger because they watch and help you fight and stronger because they know about it. They will help you win. love to you.
Jen,
I pray that things will improve soon. I know that overwhelmed feeling, knowing what you want to do, but you just can’t quite do it. Hope things start improving soon. 🙂
Hi Jen, share with us what you DO WANT, as well. We want you to be happier, we do want you to be filled with energy. We want you to continue to share your insights; and we want you to have the courage to carry on building a Better future for your family and you.