Long Enough

8 08 2013


11:30 am

Recreational Therapy today. My new title: Octopus Eight Champion. We also played a group game that involved simple puzzles—some with missing pieces, some with extra pieces. Take away lesson: I’m really good at solving other people’s problems. I also become incredibly frustrated if I can see a clear solution but I’m blocked from implementing it. (Then again, who wouldn’t be frustrated by that?)

I guess the real question here is, can I see a clear solution to my problems?

I wish it were that easy. Like so many things in life, my depression is not a simple puzzle just waiting for the pieces to be put in the right places. Still, I think I can find some strategies and plans for coping with it.

For now, that will do

“Life is a process, not an event.”

4:30 pm

ECT consult. It’s amazing how nonchalant a doctor can sound about running electricity through my brain, but I suppose it’s old hat to him.

I think I’m going to do it. They have an 80% success rate, and that’s a hard thing to turn down. Please don’t tell me what a bad idea it is, about the people you know for whom it didn’t work, or all the horror stories you’ve heard about it.

21 years is long enough. I’ve suffered long enough.

Besides, if it doesn’t work, I probably won’t remember it anyway.



4 responses

9 08 2013

Dear lady, I really hope it works. I really, truly do. You are in my prayers!

9 08 2013

I say, anything that will help that you feel good about- Do IT. To hell with the naysayers.
LOVE to YOU!!!

9 08 2013
Mike Finn

Thought provoking piece here J, which raises a couple of questions. Are you looking for a magic wand or do you wish to be in control? Perhaps ECT might be the wand that allows you to take more control! Just a thought.

8 08 2013
Randy Tayler (@RandyTayler)

I was just hearing good things about ECT tonight. Good luck!

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