Approximately 11:30 pm
I’m estimating the time since I have no watch or clock in my room. Related: I was going to say “guesstimating” but then I realized I despise that word because 1) it’s not a real word and 2) it means the same thing as estimating. Seriously, who thought that up?
Car and the boys visited today, which was really nice. We talked and played UNO and built a house of cards, which we promptly destroyed. I wasn’t even sad when they left, because they’re coming back tomorrow.
I wish I had more to say about today, but it didn’t end very well at all. I’m hoping I can sleep and in the morning the world will look brighter.
So desperate for sleep I just drank herbal tea. Please to be killing me now.
Group therapy just turned into a one-person rant, so I walked out. It’s nice to have that freedom. None of the groups are required. They’re strongly encouraged and if you don’t show up I’m pretty sure it’s noted in your record, but there’s no mandatory attendance for any activity on the unit.
It’s nice to have some freedom.
This morning I skipped two groups and took a 2.5 hour nap. It was glorious. Then I went to “Expressive Therapy”—Apples to Apples. With actual therapy thrown in, of course. That’s one of the differences on this floor. Then at the end of the game she thought it would be fun if we took the green cards we won and use them as descriptors of ourselves. I had “graceful” and “spunky.” It’s like the game knows me.
There’s been a lot of drama on the unit tonight, mainly centered around the group ranter. It’s making many of us tense and uncomfortable. It’s not okay for one person to have this much of an influence on an entire floor of mood-disordered patients, and I wish there were something the staff could do about it. But what, really, can be done? Drug one individual into oblivion so the rest of us can breathe a sigh of relief? As fantastic as that sounds at the moment, I can clearly see the injustice of such an action.
So here I sit, edgy and annoyed and wishing people would just be quietly depressed like me.