Christmas is a Feeling

26 11 2012

And I have very strong feelings about it. Specifically, about Christmas music.

Some of you may recall that I previously discussed my all-consuming hatred of the use of “My Favorite Things” as a Christmas song. That hasn’t changed a bit, but I’d like to talk about some more traditional music.

Caveat: I’m not getting into the modern stuff. If you get me going on “Christmas Shoes” my head will explode, and then Christmas will be ruined for my family and it will be all your fault.

I love traditional Christmas songs. Mostly. However, every year one or two songs come up in my rotation that just make me feel…well, stabby.

Today’s offender: “I Saw Three Ships.” I know! I must be some sort of crazy person to hate that song, right? Well, sort of. We all know I’m some sort of crazy person, but I have a legitimate reason for hating this song. Namely, it makes no sense. Behold:

I saw three ships come sailing in
On Christmas day, on Christmas day
I saw three ships come sailing in
On Christmas day in the morning.

And what was in those ships all three?
On Christmas day, on Christmas day
And what was in those ships all three?
On Christmas day in the morning.

Our Savior, Christ, and His Lady,
On Christmas day, on Christmas day
Our Savior, Christ, and His Lady,
On Christmas day in the morning.

Pray, whither sailed those ships all three?
On Christmas day, on Christmas day
Pray, whither sailed those ships all three?
On Christmas day in the morning.

O, they sailed to Bethlehem,
On Christmas day, on Christmas day
O, they sailed to Bethlehem,
On Christmas day in the morning.

Now, I’m going to stop right there and have a little geography refresher course.

Now, if you can tell me just how, exactly, someone sailed into Bethlehem, I might change my opinion. Although it still won’t convince me that any woman wants to get on a boat shortly after giving birth.

If I actually remember, in the next few days I’ll discuss the common Christmas song that Car and I fondly refer to as “the date rape song.”

I know! You can hardly wait, can you?

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11 responses

1 01 2013
zstitches

I’ve always given Three Ships a pass since I assumed it dates to an era when the people who made up folk songs didn’t have easy access to scriptures. There are lots of apocryphal Christmas carols that aren’t hymnbook-accurate but still wonderful in sentiment and melody–see also “We Three Kings of Orient Are,” etc. (Three Ships gets annoying when it gets stuck on repeat in your mind, though–so, thanks for that.)

5 12 2012
lilligolightly

on “the ship of the dessert” camels! but acc to another it was good old “little donkey”! lol

1 12 2012
Annette Lyon (@AnnetteLyon)

I don’t hear that song often, but from now on, I’ll want to punch it in the face. Much I want to punch anyone near me when I hear the shoes song. And vomit.

26 11 2012
Charmain

My sentiments exactly! You know how I feel about Paul McCartney’s out-of-tune overplayed Christmas song. The Christmas Shoes song is a new “favorite” around here. I’ll call the hubbs at work or wake him up in the middle of the night if that song comes on, because I know he “loves” it just that much! 🙂 Seriously, though, who wrote that song? A bunch of hillbilly songwriters sitting around brainstorming, “What would a dying woman really want? SHOES! Lets have that kid give her SHOES!”

I’m guessing your date rape song is “Baby it’s Cold Outside?” I totally agree, except, when Rod Stewart and Dolly Pardon sing it together, I’m not sure who is offending whom. Too bad it has such a catchy tune.

27 11 2012
Jenny

I know. I can’t stop listening to the Zooey Deschanel/Leon Redbone version from Elf, and every time I think, “DUDE. She just asked what’s in her drink and I BET IT’S TOTALLY A ROOFIE.”

26 11 2012
icecharm

I’m so glad I am not the only one that hates that stupid Christmas Shoes song! Christmas songs are supposed to be HAPPY!!!!!

26 11 2012
jbcarney (@jbcarney)

And why do they need 3 ships for two people? If it’s just Jesus and Mary – and one would assume they would be on the same ship – then who is on the other ships?

27 11 2012
Jenny

Maybe the wisemen are on one and the shepherds are on the other. The whole nativity crew is making an entrance!

Also, I’ve decided they must be flying ships if they “sail” into Bethlehem, so basically this song is claiming Jesus is an alien. BLASPHEMY!

5 12 2012
lilligolightly

joseph lol

26 11 2012
Mimi

Baby, it’s cold outside… lol

26 11 2012
Meredith Blumoff

THIS IS WHY I LOVE YOU. THIS RIGHT HERE. ALL CAPS.

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