Prepare yourselves, friends. I’m going to talk about my health for a bit.
I’m getting sick again. I had bronchitis at the beginning of October and now, less than a month later, I feel the vise tightening around my lungs.
I am so. Very. Angry.
In rehab I learned that anger is a secondary emotion, and if I stop a minute I can admit that I cried for an hour on Sunday because I can’t bear the thought of another winter like last year—you know, when I got pneumonia and then had bronchitis something like six times.
I am so. Very. Depressed.
My doctor doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with my lungs, but that makes no sense to me, because normal people don’t get bronchitis multiple times a year, right? Yet when I’m between my bronchial issues, my lungs sound like those of a perfectly healthy individual. I don’t cough. I don’t wheeze. I’m as normal, health-wise, as someone with all my other health issues can be.
Speaking of my other health issues, this pesky Antiphospholipid Syndrome I have—you know, the one that caused a blood clot and all my pregnancy issues? I take a medication to keep it under control. It’s considered a DMARD—a disease-modifying anti-rheumatic drug—and though nobody is sure of the mechanism it uses, it’s believed to interfere with communication of cells in the immune system.
Yeah. I’m sure you see the inherent problem here, though last year was the first time I experienced such severe respiratory illness and I’ve been on the same immunosuppressant for 11 years.
11 years is a long time. I vaguely remember more joint pain, more migraines…pretty much more pain in general before my meds. I don’t particularly want to return to that. Still, if there’s a chance letting my immune system communicate a little bit better will lead to breathing easier…
Fun fact: I can live with pain. I can’t live without breathing.
I am so. Very. Annoyed.
Enough about that. As yesterday was Halloween, I’m obviously obligated to share adorable photos.
And one of me, just for fun.