Kids These Days

14 03 2011

Basic conversation after church today:

Car: The teenagers in the youth Sunday School class are out of control.
Me: Bummer. Kids are like that.
Car: I need to split them into two classes, but that means another teacher. I think I’ll end up teaching them, but I need another adult in the class with me.
Me: Noooooooooooo. Okay, fine.

This is just a basic outline, of course, as I was busy downloading WordFeud onto his phone and wasn’t paying close attention. Shut up. I have ADD.

Anyway, this got me thinking about a recent Twitter conversation I had with Liz, aka @grouchyteacher:

So I have no idea who the crap Fred is, but it seems rude to ask. In retrospect, that cracks me up, as I’ve never actually met Liz. Why would it be impolite to not know the people in her life?

That’s true enough, right? Still, I’m wondering who this “Fred” person is who would want to watch my children, so I finally come clean.

That’s right, I used the word “tweep” and included the ever-jovial winking emoticon!

I’m assuming Fred is a pseudonym to protect her daughter’s anonymity. If it isn’t, I need to quickly unfriend Liz. Anyway, I’m vastly relieved that she pre-reads my blog before allowing a 14-year-old to peruse its contents, because let’s admit it: I have my moments.

Still, y’all have to admit I’m a vast improvement to her other reading material:

Fred, let’s have a chat. I get the “forbidden love” thing. Really, I do. I was 14 once. I even get the vampire thing. But Twilight? No. Twilight fanfic? Oh, hell no. (Liz, please let her read that. It’s just a little swear and we must convince her of the error of her ways.)

Anyway, given that I have 14-year-olds reading my blog and I’m going to be sitting in on the teen Sunday School class, I think we can only come to one conclusion:

I’m a role model.

What? You had a different conclusion? Jerk.

So, teen readers, a few words of advice: Don’t use drugs or have sex until after you’re married. The sex, that is, after marriage. You still shouldn’t use drugs after you’re married.

Ahem. Shut up. I’m going to be a great role model.

Hi Fred!

*True story: I once told a group of teenagers that my most convincing argument against using drugs is “you have to write a lot of papers and pee in front of other people.” Hey, it’s not like they listen to the whole “you’ll ruin your life” speech.




3 responses

14 03 2011

Let me start by saying that your blog is hilarious and educational. Seriously.
Poor Fred. Now everyone is going to think all she reads is crap. Really, she is very well-read and intelligent, she just runs out of reading material very quickly and our town is too small to have a very decent library.

14 03 2011

*shudder* I have issues with public peeing, I can’t imagine doing it in FRONT of them. That argument would have TOTALLY worked for me.

14 03 2011

oh, Fred. what drivel they feed teens these days. when I was a teen, I was discovering my love for Jane Austen and Sylvia Plath. I know! let’s start 10 step group for teen literature.

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