And There Was Much Rejoicing

6 03 2011

Today is the first Sunday of the month. To those of you who aren’t Mormon, it’s probably a Sunday like any other. To Mormons, it’s Fast Sunday. This means two things: we fast (thus the name) and our usual sacrament meeting is a testimony meeting.

The fasting is pretty easy to explain, especially since I’ll let do it for me (Score one for lazy blogging!):

Once a month, God asks us to fast, or forego food and water for two meals. If there are issues with health or age (such as the very young) fasting can be modified to fit individual circumstances. But fasting without prayer, some say, is just going hungry. We pick a specific need or question we have and pray for help while we fast. … The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints sets aside the first Sunday of every month as a time when members are asked to fast. We are encouraged to make a fast offering on these days, which is a monetary donation (at least equal to the value of the two meals) that goes to help the poor who need food or shelter.

During the testimony meeting, members who feel prompted to do so share their testimony with the other congregation members.

So there’s some Mormon background for what’s really a simple anecdote. What can I say? I like to be thorough. I also have some concern for a few of you out there who claim your only exposure to Mormonism comes from watching Big Love. This does not count as exposure to Mormonism. Modern-day polygamists are not Mormons. Ahem. Sorry. Had to get that out of my system.

As a general rule, the first hour of church (before the kids go to their classes) is more an endurance challenge than a faith-promoting experience. I spend most of the time shushing one kid, stuffing goldfish into the gaping maw of another, passing around crayons, and mediating fights over Hot Wheels.

So when Car leaned over during testimony meeting and said, “Little G says he wants to go pee in the potty,” I didn’t think twice about whisking him off to the bathroom. Is he potty-trained? Heavens, no. Not even close. But if he expresses interest, I’ll get that boy to a potty and I’ll party like it’s 1999 if even a drop of pee makes it into the toilet. Which is what happened this afternoon, in the middle of church. I clapped my hands, told him how proud I was, and made the biggest fuss I could possibly make in a church bathroom.

We went back to our seats, Little G filled with pride over his accomplishment. So proud, in fact, that he had to tell daddy about it.

Right then.

In the chapel.

During a lull in the testimony meeting.

Very loudly.


*Title ideas Meredith and I batted back and forth (mostly hers):

In god’s bathroom
Everybody pees
All god’s potty-trained children

All Things Bright and Potty-Trained

And so god said, let there be potty training!
And so it came to pass that there was potty training

And God saw that it was good

And on the 768th day, there was potty training.
And God said, Let there be urine.

Let there be wee!

And there was wee. And it was good.

Yea, though I walk thru the valley of toddlerdom, I shall fear no potty.

In the beginning, there were diapers.

And thou shalt love thy potty with all thine heart

There shall be no potty before me!
No, there shall ALWAYS be a potty before thee!

Honor thy mother & thy potty

Thou shalt not lie down in diapers

In feast & in famine, in dry diapers & in wet

Seven fat cows, seven thin cows, seven wet diapers, seven potty pees

And thou shalt keep the potty holy

And possibly the funniest thing Meredith has ever said to me:


Let My People Wee!





3 responses

7 03 2011

well he bore his testimony about peeing. I would have been excited too! 🙂

just FYI, I loooooove Big Love. you know I’m a former Moron (hee) and I think more Mormons should watch it to see that they do delineate between the FLDS and Mormon Church, realize they do portray Mormons in it but not always so favorably (not as polygamists, but still, I’d want to know how my church is being portrayed. but there are some great Mormon characters in it.), and get in on all the juicy drama! but I doubt it’s PG so there you go.

7 03 2011

LOVE IT! That w as just as good as when my then 2 year old said loudly one Sunday, “Mom, why does Abby’s mom have hair on her chin? I thought only boys had beards” and yes she was sitting right in front of us. yeah, winner.

6 03 2011

CUTE! I love what kids say in the quite of church… My fav’s are when a fussy child get’s taken out and they scream for some kind of help to the congregation as they are being dragged out by their parent…

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