One of Those Days

12 02 2011

So I crawl underneath my blanket
Where I can hide away
I know I can’t take it anymore
‘Cause I see now
It’s just one of those days
~ Joshua Radin

I’d like to take a mulligan on the last 36 hours. Can one of you arrange that for me? It’d be lovely.

My soul hurts tonight. It’s not my usual depression, and it’s not one or two things I can blog about and get out of my system. There are a few contributing factors and I suspect I just need to soldier through like people do. This is how normal people feel when they are sad, right? You feel blue. Not suicidal, not despondent…just melancholy. Your heart aches. You suspect before long it’ll pass.

Is that what it’s like?

Yesterday I ran into an old friend. I’ll call this friend J. J was a close friend—a mentor, a confidante, someone I looked forward to seeing. As often seems to happen in adulthood, the circumstances that brought J and I together changed and we chatted less and less. We went from daily visits to weekly visits to chatting once a month—if even that.

When I saw J yesterday, my heart did a happy little somersault in my chest…until we started talking. It was as though J and I were never more than acquaintances who nodded across the street. We chatted for a bit and I left feeling empty and let down.

The adult in me oh-so-maturely says, “These things happen. People grow apart. Friendships take a lot of work, and you’re both very busy people with families.”

The little girl inside of me says, “I knew J would figure out there was something wrong with you. I’m just surprised it took J this long.”

I cling to my adult logic. I know people grow apart. But the brain is a funny thing, and emotions are awfully pesky.

My heart hurts.

It’s just one of those days.

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5 responses

13 02 2011
andygirl

feel better, punkin’. you need chocolate and bad TV stat.

also? I love Joshua Radin. good choice.

13 02 2011
Elizabeth! I hav

Yeah, these things happen, usually at about your age. I’ve hated every HS reunion until my 40th when people FINALLY seemed happy to see me. I have one good friend from high school. Many times at school I’ll have girls in tears because their “friends” have been mean to them. I tell my students that none of this will matter in 20 years and they can’t believe it. But many come back even 3 years later and say, “I can’t believe how little I associate with anyone I knew in High School.” Even my neighborhood buddies that I spent every day with growing up: I know nothing about any of them. And yes, I feel extremely blue when these things happen.

13 02 2011
Aimee

I’m sorry you had a stinker of a day yesterday. 😦

As for J… you never know what kind of day they might have been having. There could be things going on that made it hard for them to be the friend you are used to. Hopefully it was just an off day, and the two of you will meet again and be right back to the friends you always were.

Everyone needs a mulligan sometimes! I love that you used that phrase by the way. 🙂

13 02 2011
Holly

I’m totally not still awake, but as I lie here, sleeping, I hope tomorrow is a better day for you.
You don’t need J–you have many people who love you & are happy to be your friends right here and now. I count myself among them.
Zzzzzz

13 02 2011
Is This Mike On?

I think it’s OK to have one of those days. Just do your darndest to make sure they don’t turn into one of those weeks or months. I think those are honest, legitimate feelings to pop in. Just try not to let them overstay their welcome.

Those days happen so often for me my family swears I have man periods or something.

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