I Did Not See That Coming

22 01 2011

We get a lot of idiotic/uncomfortable/bizarre questions at the pharmacy. If you think you’re calling with a strange or stupid question, there’s a good chance we’ve heard it a million times before.

Except when we haven’t.

Today a rough-looking woman in her late 40s walked up to the pharmacy counter. “Do you have any empty douche bags?” she asked. “I can’t find them anywhere.”

People? In an ideal world, I would receive accolades out the wazoo for keeping a straight face.

Instead, I got to search through the feminine hygiene aisle and confirm that, so sorry, all we offer are, in fact, pre-filled douche bags.


Major props go to my boss, who said, “You should’ve told her, “Oh, I’ve got one right here” and  pointed in my direction.” I love an authority figure who can make a good douche joke at his own expense.

Bonus pharmacy pet peeve of the day: I don’t care how it’s spelled—if you name your daughter Skylar, you waive the right to be irked when I refer to her as a him.




8 responses

24 01 2011

Skyler is a boy’s name and also my mother-in-law’s maiden name (spelled “Schuyler”). I very much hate ambiguous-gender names as well as “creative” names like… say, Taegan. VOMIT!

Also, I strongly admire your restraint and your boss’s sense of humor! Lol I don’t think I could’ve stopped myself from giving her a weird look.. Wow, Jenny, you amaze me! Huh-lurious!

(iPad corrector wanted that to be huh-Oedipus)

23 01 2011

My nine-year-old, G, is diabetic. We made the mistake of calling the bag that holds his needles, insulin, etc, a “d-bag”. Totally uncool, according to my high-school age friends. How do you keep a straight face during the day? Also, my sister used to call the pharmacy and ask if they had cotton balls and when the pharmacist said yes, she would say, “What? are you Peter Rabbit?” I just had to share that.

23 01 2011

Couldn’t she just . . . empty one of the filled douchebags?

Also, the transformation of names from surname to boys’ name to girls’ name is an endless, sad process. Girls end up with all the choices. (I have a brother named Tracy. My sister bought a brick at the new high school and had all my sibs’ names put on it; they spelled his as Tracey.)

23 01 2011

I have a few empty douchebags for her.

22 01 2011

First of all, I didn’t know there were such things. Secondly, how you kept a straight face is a skill that should be taught someplace. You could make serious dough. 🙂

22 01 2011

Ok, I don’t even know where to begin with the douche bags. I’m highly impressed that you didn’t start giggling uncontrollably.
And skylar is nick’s brother’s name, so clearly it’s a boy name. It’s her fault for naming her kid an ambiguous weirdo name.

22 01 2011

Oh, my. I didn’t know people still *used* those–and I most certainly wouldn’t ASK for one.

(I have a nephew Skylar–spelled just like that, too. 6+ feet of all guy.)

22 01 2011
Kristina P.

Is Skylar a boy’s name?

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