Little Earthquakes

6 01 2011

Give me life, give me pain, give me myself again
...
Oh, these little earthquakes

Doesn’t take much to rip us into pieces
~ Tori Amos


Last week I finished a course of preventive antibiotics, which I started just before Christmas when I developed bronchitis. Apparently my lungs are inflamed enough that a) I’ll get just about every bug that goes around and b) it’ll become something bigger and more horrible than whatever it was outside of my body. Yeah, I’m just that special.

Last night my throat felt a little sore, but I shrugged it off. This morning, the coughing and the phlegm started.

I’m getting sick again.

But this post isn’t about complaining. It’s more about…explaining.

See, I want you to understand that I’m not a hypochondriac. Perhaps you don’t even think I am, but that’s my perception of how you must view me. After all, who else would, after one day of illness, jump to the alarming conclusion that she must have pneumonia again? It sounds pretty crazy, right?

But my body? It’s kind of crazy. Remember that whole “it’s a migraine oh wait no it isn’t it’s a blood clot whoops good thing you didn’t die” episode? Yeah. That’s not normal. Imagine life after that—what happens when you get a migraine and it’s really just a migraine? Do you assume it’s a migraine? Hell no! You think you’re going to die because that’s what happened last time.

A headache, a cold…they’re more than just a bump in the road. They’re little earthquakes in my carefully constructed world, and I never know which earthquake will bring the whole thing crashing down.

So perhaps you can understand when I start having coughing episodes and difficulty breathing, I don’t assume it’s a simple cold. I’ve lost that ability, and it’s a massive bummer. I have zero desire to be the person who rushes to the doctor at the drop of a hat, and yet when I call the doctor for refills on my cough medication, I get the reminder, “Don’t put off coming in to see if antibiotics are appropriate.”

Bah. Like I have that kind of money. Or time. Or even the desire to drag my kids over to the doctor’s office.

Oh, wait. I said this wasn’t a complaining post. Apparently I lied. Well, it’s my blog, and I’ll lie if I want to. I’ll also end sentences with prepositions if I want to. Neener, neener.

I have a feeling none of this made sense, which is too bad, because in my head? It was gloriously eloquent and you all understood and nodded vigorously in agreement. Do me a favor and humor me, won’t you? That’s right. Appease the crazy sick hypochondriac, dammit. (Wow—that was redundant, yet paradoxical. Impressive, me!)

Now back away from the computer slowly…

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9 responses

21 02 2012
I’m Totally Okay! Well, Mostly. « Like Swimming

[…] under the surface. I’m finally at a point in my life where I’m comfortable saying I’m not a hypochondriac. I have real symptoms and real cause for concern. I have no desire to be ill, and no need to be the […]

1 11 2011
To Breathe or Not to Breathe « Like Swimming

[…] on Sunday because I can’t bear the thought of another winter like last year—you know, when I got pneumonia and then had bronchitis something like six […]

8 01 2011
Van Gessel

It’s not a preposition….

7 01 2011
Julie

I’m sorry you’re sick and that it hits you often. I hate being sick. I hope you feel better soon!

7 01 2011
Mom

Somehow, most hypochondriacs can breathe. Remember your mother who was told for years that nothing was wrong with her until an MRI show a tumor on her spinal cord!

Since you’re getting sick constantly, what does the doctor say about an extended dose of antibiotics? I had to take something for a year to get over my reoccuring UTIs. I’m so sorry. Shall I bring down chicken soup?

7 01 2011
andygirl

no I will not back away from the computer slowly. so there.

listen, I was raised by a first-class hypochondriac and I can spot the real deal a mile away. you’re not it. you just have the worst luck ever! also? vitamins.

get better, woman! if it makes you feel better, I’ve been sick too.

7 01 2011
Erin

Yuck! That’s how I feel about the little man. Everyone has had a cold for over two weeks except him and I’m just waiting for it to show up one day and be full blown pneumonia. His nurse looked at me funny this morning when I asked him how his nose felt. I tried to explain but she still looked at me funny. Oh well.

7 01 2011
meredith

“and I never know which earthquake will bring the whole thing crashing down.”

how terribly, awfully understandable. ❤

7 01 2011
HexingThoughts

Allow me to respond in kind to your opener.

“I’m not sure who’s fooling who here as I’m watching your decay. We both know you could deflate a 7 hurricane.”

I think you know what I mean. 😉

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