I Did Not Kill Anyone Today

30 11 2010

Hey, guess what? I took a shower today! Shut up. It’s a major accomplishment right now.

Speaking of major accomplishments, I got the boys (and myself, because, you know, that’s pretty important) dressed and we went to Carl’s Jr. so they could run around and be crazy. It’s like I was visited by the ambition fairy! Anyway, we were the only people in the play area for about five minutes, at which point a mom showed up with two boys who looked like they were around six years old.

I sat and watched the boys play, feeling so very proud of myself for actually leaving the house, and one of the boys at the next table leaned over to his friend and stage whispered, “Let me tell you a secret.” He whispered something in his friend’s ear, looking at me the whole time with this really weird look on his face.

Yeah. Kids are just bizarre.

So I started to get the creeps just a little and I pulled out my phone to play Angry Birds, because really, is there any better way to kill time whilst avoiding sociopathic six-year-olds? Then I heard the boy say to his friend, “How do you spell fat?”

I glanced up, and he was looking straight at me. Grinning.

All of that pride I was feeling? Straight out the window because of a damn kid.

I know some of you are wondering what his mom was doing—she was on the phone, so she didn’t hear any of it.

Were I in a better place, it’s possible I would’ve said something. I’ve actually done it before, believe it or not. A 5-year-old once told me I couldn’t go on the slide at the playground because I was too fat, and I told him we don’t talk to people like that because it isn’t nice and it makes them feel bad.

But I’m not in a good place, and all of the active responses to the rude kid involved physical violence and destruction of property, so I opted for the route that wouldn’t end with me on the 10 o’clock news. I know. I’m the most boring blogger ever.

It would’ve been so much more satisfying to feel the crunch of his Green Hornet car under my shoe. Sigh. Being grown up kind of sucks some days.

On the plus side, Car came home early from work and we took the kids to see Tangled. My husband is awesome.

Tomorrow: psychiatrist! Whoo-hoo!

 

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7 responses

2 12 2010
Mimi

I second pretty much everyone’s statements. That would’ve made me cry. 😦 I love you!

1 12 2010
Abigail @ Skywaitress

What a jerk kid. You are incredible for not smacking him. I kind of want to.

1 12 2010
rachel

devil child! his mom is probably a devotee of that marie claire lady who is disgusted by the very idea of fat.

1 12 2010
Erin

I’m in an okay place and I’m pretty sure I would have smashed the green car! But I’m crazy like that. Of course I’ve also gained 10 pounds this month so it might be that I’m really not in that great of a place. Oh well. Sigh.

1 12 2010
Ian

Love the crunch.

1 12 2010
meredith

One behalf of those of us who neither showered nor sat down to eat lunch today, I’m very impressed.

One behalf of those of us who’d really like to see the remains of that child splattered across the Carl’s Jr. play area, I’m very disappointed.

Ah, well, win some, lose some.

1 12 2010
andygirl

okay, happy you’re going to a psych!! yay!

but that kid? not cool. how do six years olds even have these kinds of notions of fat yet? it makes me ill.

*hugs*

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