Hey You

29 11 2010

Hey you, don’t help them to bury the light
Don’t give in without a fight.

I have all sorts of funny things I want to write, but none of them will come out right.

I’m depressed. I know. It’s a shocking turn of events! This depressive episode is kind of weird, though. It’s sneaky and quiet. My normal depression (which is possibly the saddest phrase I’ve ever typed) is a much more aggressive creature that beats me into submission. This time instead of becoming introspective and writing long-winded posts about my feelings, I walk through the day in a haze and then realize at 9 pm that I didn’t actually shower today.

Yeah. I’m just that awesome.

The good news is, I have an appointment with my psychiatrist on Wednesday. The bad news is, I don’t have a lot of hope that much will change at this point. I have used every modern antidepressant on the market. It’s an endless cycle. We change meds. They help for a while. Then they don’t. I think it comes more back to my ability to soldier through a downswing than to the minute changes in my medications. Do I need antidepressants? Absolutely. Do they need to be tweaked? Meh. Who knows? And at this point, does it make much of a difference?

Blaaaaaaaaaah. Such a fun blog post, I know.

So enough with the whining. Tomorrow I shall attempt to return to silliness. Thanks for sticking with me.

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6 responses

2 12 2010
Jenny

Oh. I watched part of a really enlightening KUED (donate money) program on Sunday (which added to my lateness for church), but thought you might actually be interested…
“UltraMind Solution: Defeat Depression, Overcome Anxiety and Sharpen Your Mind with Mark Hyman, M.D.
Dr. Mark Hyman shares methods for healing our brains by treating imbalances in our bodies.
Genre: HEALTH
Sorry, no upcoming episodes could be found. Past episodes »”

It might be well worth an investigation. He talks all about “traditional” treatments and 7 “simple” yet little knows practices that help greatly.
I know personally the frustrations associated with depression… His ideas actually make sense! And are easier and more available than would be thought. Anyway, check it out… He actually suffered himself and has been able to help not only himself, but others. He isn’t looking or money, but rather to help people who have exhausted the other options and don’t realize how well some simple changes might even help.

30 11 2010
Mom

Check out the latest news from the University of Utah. They are doing experiments with an over-the-counter substance that shows tremendous promise. Apparently it makes the meds work much better for both depression and bi-polar And it’s fast: great improvement is noted within 2 weeks. Doctors there are estastic (even if I can’t spell it!).

30 11 2010
andygirl

love to you, lovely girl. I have faith that you’ll pull out of this. *hugs*

30 11 2010
Kristina P.

Booooo. I’m sorry. I think you need to start taking Unicorn magic pills.

30 11 2010
Cat Lady

I hope the right combination of meds comes along for you. People who aren’t depressed don’t know how difficult it is to just get up and get dressed (assuming one can even sleep). Keep hanging in there. Writing does help as does supportive friends and family.

30 11 2010
meredith

i really do think we could bring back the crumple-into-a-pile-of-crinoline-&-tears look. it worked for so long, i see no reason we can’t have a revival of “the vapors.”

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