Playing with Fire

23 11 2010

My friend guided me to this amazing recipe for chocolate pecan pie. (Yes, Meredith. You are that friend. Consider yourself credited.) It has chocolate. It has pecans. It has pastry. It has corn syrup. Seriously, how could I possibly go wrong?

I’ll tell you how: two tablespoons of bourbon.

I know what you’re thinking. “Just substitute vanilla. Nobody will know the difference.” While that may be true, I’m a purist (*cough*OCD*cough*). I make recipes as they’re written. Hey, it works. You never know which substitution will be the one that ruins a perfectly good recipe.

But that’s okay. I’m not an alcoholic, I’m a drug addict. So I’ll just get a bottle of bourbon to use for cooking, and it’ll be fine, right?

That’s what I keep trying to tell myself. In fact, I’ve been trying so hard to convince myself that’s the case that I completely forgot I have a bourbon bottle in my pantry.

Behold:

If you’re reading carefully, you noticed I said I have a bourbon bottle. Not a bottle of bourbon—a bourbon bottle. “But Jenny,” you’re wondering, “isn’t there bourbon in there? I’m pretty sure I see liquid.” Ah, sweet readers. You’re so trusting. That’s not bourbon. That’s water. Water with a touch of vanilla to give it a  warm amber color.

But I can totally just buy a bottle of bourbon for cooking. I’m not an alcoholic.

Yeah. I’m not an idiot either.

Just so you know, I’ll be using vanilla in the pecan pie.

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7 responses

25 11 2010
tasiasmama

Hi
I have two blog concerning my past and present experiences with addiction, recovery, bi-polar and add. these are true personal writing that are helping me find out who I am and may help other addict s in the process. My blog addresses are http://www.anaddictsinnerself.blogspot.com and http://www.dailymemoirstofindingmyinnerself.wordpress.com. I am looking for other blog authors to post comments and to subscribe to their blogs. Please let me know what you think.
Tasiasmama

24 11 2010
Mimi

Pecan pies taste like butt anyway… you should make a pumpkin cheesecake.

23 11 2010
meredith

peter — it’s better.

and yes, i’m the kind of friend who sends recipes with booze in them to my former addict friends. i know, you’ll love me, too.

23 11 2010
Tiffany @MomNom

Apparently, I am an idiot. I need more explanation. Did you mail me the bourbon? Did you save an old bottle. Oh God, please tell me you didn’t empty its contents down some drain?? You know a part of me would die a little.

I’m confused.

Shit.

23 11 2010
Peter

Is it better than Tony’s chocolate pecan pie on the Food Network website? That one has better ratings, but I don’t know. Tony’s version has even more burbon. I’ve wanted to make a chocolate pecan pie for awhile, but I don’t know if I have the guts to do it since my wife is planning on making her family’s traditional pecan pie…

23 11 2010
andygirl

good girl.

but why on earth would you fill a bourbon bottle with water and vanilla? just to screw with your family? because that would be an awesome reason.

23 11 2010
Annette

Wise woman, you.

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