Find Your Own Damn Latex

20 11 2010

Hey, people? I have some disturbing news.

You are not the only person in the entire world.

Wait, what? You already knew that? Cool. You may keep reading my blog. I’m sure you’re overwhelmingly relieved.

Today I almost killed a woman. I know! And I seem so nice!

I was on the telephone with a customer, and this woman walked up to the window and started loudly asking me questions. While I was on the phone.

I wasn’t on my cell phone. I wasn’t having a personal conversation. (Not that it’s ever okay to interrupt, but really, if you’re on your cell phone at work, or you’re taking a clearly non-work-related call, you’re kind of asking for it.)

“But Jenny,” I hear you saying, “Obviously this woman had a dire pharmacy-related emergency that required immediate attention. Why else would she behave so boorishly?”

While I will concede a certain amount of urgency in the need for powder-free gloves to be used in setting mouse traps, I’m pretty sure she could’ve waited another 30 seconds for direction.

No, I didn’t reach across the counter and flick her in the forehead. Please take a moment to be impressed by my maturity.

While we’re on the topic of latex, a note to the guy who asked for the key to the condom case today: a little less cologne would greatly increase your chances of actually using said condoms.

And yes, the condoms are in a locked case, as are the pregnancy tests. It’s like a worthiness test, really. Are you man enough to ask for the key to the condom case? Congratulations! You can have protected sex! Not embarrassed by the need for a pregnancy test? Good for you! You’re ready to embark upon the mortifying journey known as motherhood!

Just don’t ask me where the restrooms are. We all know how that ends.

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4 responses

20 11 2010
andygirl

BAHA! rude effing people, man. rude.

back in my retail days (which may be coming back again), I’d refuse to wait on someone if they were on their cell phones. grrrrrrr. I’d say, I’ll just help a customer who’s ready.

also: whomever invented Axe should be shot. on site.

also also: is locking up the pregnancy tests a Utah thing? they lock up the condoms here but not the tests. like, we couldn’t let you have the condoms so here, please, take a pregnancy test. on us. hee!

20 11 2010
La Yen

Re: the worthiness test–that’s how I felt when I had to sell adult mags at Borders. Ask me like a grownup and I will give you all the material you want. Whisper or tell me it’s for a friend, and I am immediately getting on the loudspeaker asking for a manager to come and help this gentleman find the correct male anatomy issues he desires.

20 11 2010
Aimee

Why are they locked in a case?? I noticed that at another store too and couldn’t understand why since they are out in the open at other stores. Are they worried people will steal them?

20 11 2010
Kazz

Oh! YOU’RE Jenndola like granola! HAH! Well then. Subscribed. I like you. 😀

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