Strix ne credite

2 11 2010

Sometimes I write posts that make me all giggly and remind me why I blog. This? Is one of those posts.

Several months ago I was loitering at my parents’ house, browsing through the Sunday paper. (I’m too cheap to get the paper myself.) (Shut up.) I especially like to look through the coupons, because:

  1. I’m cheap (see previous parenthetical comment).
  2. There are some hilarious ads mixed in with the coupons.

Case in point:

You cannot tell me you wouldn’t wet yourself if this demonic, glowing-eyed abomination hooted at you when you approached a friend’s house.

There are so many things about this ad that I love. Up near the top of the list? “Can be used outdoor or even indoors as a fun decoration!” Fun indoor decoration? Or is it, perhaps, an integral part of your ritual summoning of the Strigoi?

No summoning rituals in your home this week? Well, that’s okay. You can use it to “Welcome Your Guests” …from Hell!

Also fantastic? It’s a “very attractive and realistic design.” I never want to see the owl upon which this monstrosity was modeled—especially in a dark wooded area, far from civilization. That’s just a horror movie in the making.

But let’s be honest. The very best part? You can “Buy several and save!”

Fair warning: the next time you come to my house? It will be guarded by a parliament of mephistophelean “life-like” owls powered by AA batteries.

**The WordPress Proofreader doesn’t know what Strigoi are. You will learn, WordPress Proofreader. Just you wait.

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9 responses

4 11 2010
kris

We used to live near a gas station that was plagued with pigeons. So many different ways the manager tried to get rid of the pigeons, and none of them worked. It was terribly funny to see the pigeons adjust to the next new reality dreamed up by this manager.

The funniest, though?

He bought like 20 pretend owls and posted them all over the rooftops of his structures.

The pigeons were not even fooled.

And a week later?

The owls were covered with bird poo.

Hee hee!

3 11 2010
meredith

frankly, an owl isn’t enough. i’d need to place a veritable army of laser-eyed fauna around my house to keep it safe.

after all, isn’t safety what it’s all about?

2 11 2010
andygirl

have you seen the Secret of Nihm? so reminds me of the owl in that! scary, glowing eyes. *shudder*

2 11 2010
Julie

Thanks for sharing! You’re awesome!

2 11 2010
Deb

Ack!

2 11 2010
Aimee

I want one!!! 🙂

2 11 2010
zstitches

“Both fun and practical”!

I know what you mean about one’s own blog posts making one giggle.

2 11 2010
Janice

“Greet your guests in a fun, original way.” And the laughter keeps coming. It’s original I’d say.

2 11 2010
Janice

Laughing hysterically! I would totally buy a bunch and put them in my front yard if you ever came to visit me. I’d have like 20 of them perched in trees and lined up like little soldiers in the yard waiting to hoo hoo you. Consider yourself warned.

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