Dear Depression

24 08 2010

Dear Depression,

I don’t like you. Not a very nice way to start a letter, I know. I suppose I could ask how you’re doing, but I’m pretty sure I know the answer. You’ve settled in nicely, and now you’re flourishing in my warm, squishy brain.

Here’s the thing: you’re not wanted. You’re the worst guest ever. All you do is take. You take the joyful moments with my family. You take the romantic moments with my husband. You take my energy, my coping skills, my self-esteem, my laughter.

You take me.

I miss me.

And now, as if you haven’t taken enough, you’re gunning for my writing. You’re stealing one of the few things that still brings me satisfaction. When I sit down at night to put thoughts on the screen, I am empty. I have things to say but when I type them, they have no substance or reason. They are as empty as I am.

You need to leave. I cannot live with you, because I cannot live without me.

Please go. I’m so tired of crying.

Please.

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8 responses

28 08 2010
Elly

What Jenny said. Keep writing. Keep writing even if it seems pointless. I hope it finds its way back to you.

26 08 2010
Mimi

Kristina sounds like an awesome lady! 😀 They should make “essence of Chuck Norris” so that people with depression (or cancer or whatever) could get better. Chuck would drop kick your depression to Pluto!

26 08 2010
Jenny

Keep writing. Even if you type nothing more than what you would consider nonsense it is something for me to read. Sometimes I am so depressed I actually look forward to reading your blog. Sounds weird, huh? I know you are making it. Help us make it too… Thanks!

25 08 2010
La Yen

This is 60% of my life. I am so, so sorry. So sorry.

25 08 2010
Sharyn

I don’t know what to say that hasn’t already been said…know you are not alone.
Sending loads of hugs (I assume you accept Virtual Hugs)!

25 08 2010
Kristina P.

I think you need to throatpunch depression.

25 08 2010
Sunday

I too struggle with depression and anxiety. I’ve taken medication for it since I was 15 and every few years we have to tweak it or try something new when the black cloud creeps back in and settles over me.
Praying you find some much needed respite from the black cloud.

25 08 2010
andygirl

oh honey, I know. I do. I’ve been there. and writing was the one thing that kept me alive in those years. I wrote poetry. I wrote stream of consciousness. I wrote just for me and only me just to get the ugly thoughts out of my head. just pour them out and let them into the air. don’t let the depression think it can take your writing. just write about the depression, your feelings, all of it. just write it out, honey!

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