“Mature” is My Middle Name

15 07 2010

This morning Big G wanted to build a fort with couch cushions. I’m not thrilled by my cushions being tossed around the living room (It’s one of my little quirks. Shut up.), but I’m pretty sure it’s an integral part of childhood, so I let it slide.

The most obvious hitch in the fort-building process is Little G. He’s like a mini Godzilla, crushing everything in his path. It’s pretty awesome, unless you’re Big G. He becomes (understandably) enraged every time his creation is ravaged. I wish I had a dollar for every time I’ve said, “But rebuilding it is half the fun!” (Yes, I’m aware that’s not at all true, but what am I supposed to say?)

So Little G destroys Big G’s creation this morning, and he asks me to “make it better.” I can’t just rebuild it; I have to reinvent it into the most awesome couch cushion fort known to man. Okay, I can do that.

I put one couch cushion in place. “No! Not there!”

I move it to another position. “I can’t see the TV!”

I try a different cushion. “It needs to be taller!”

And another. “You’re doing it wrong!”

At this point, I do what every mature, level-headed adult would do: I grab as many cushions as I can, hurl them across the room, and then lock myself in the bathroom.

It’s a proud moment for me.

I want to find a happy medium–a compromise where I’m not the meanest mom ever, but I don’t feel like I’m the hired help.

Next week I’m taking Big G to a child psychologist. I’m hoping she’ll tell me he’s a perfectly normal 4-year-old and give me pointers and I’ll be able to work with his idiosyncracies rather than battle them on a daily basis.

Here’s to hoping.

*Please don’t think Big G is going to the psychologist because of incidents like the one I just described. There’s a whole lot more going on, and detailing it would be exhausting.

**WordPress Proofreader, you naughty minx, flattery will get you everywhere!

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6 responses

16 07 2010
La Yen

I learned this from ~J:
“Did you hold your child down and force him to drink so much water that he died today? No? Then you are a good mom.”

16 07 2010
Amy

good luck with the child therapist.

My response is to throw them down and say, “Fine, then you do it. If you want my help, you need to either help or let me just do it. Your choice.” and then I walk away and find something sugary to eat. 🙂

15 07 2010
Mom

Congrats on throwing the cushions across the room and locking yourself in the bathroom. I think I would probably throw them AT Big G, or yell. It’s really not humanly possible to be unreasonably ordered around by another person, not to mention a four year old. Sorry. You’re a LONG WAYS from the worst Mom ever!

15 07 2010
Dee Gardner

With my oldest son. I was the Big D while little D destroyed all my sand castles, lego ships, and home forts. It was frustrating, but as long as he wasn’t killing someone. I let it pass. Now my My little D (15 years old) has a 6 year old little E and he is having to deal with little E destroying his sand castles and couch cushion forts. He is actually doing pretty well at being patient and tolerant. I have to step in to stop the battle turning into a war at times. The positive is that Big G is now helpful and contributing to our home and the housework. And only occasionally get’s upset with little E destruction. I have to remind him he was exactly like that when he was that age.

15 07 2010
Erin

It will be a battle to win worst mother of the year than because I’ve done the same thing. Only I said “Fine, you do it then!” before I stomped away. Good luck with the psychologist. I still haven’t found one I’m thrilled with for Jahnna.

15 07 2010
Laney

Thank you a million times over for writing this. I have the same moments. You seem to handel them better than I do however. At my house such scenes end with me yelling and everybody crying :p
I know….. I am totally winning the worst mother of the year award.

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