“I never bother about that. Those who matter don’t mind, and those who mind don’t matter.”
– Bernard Baruch
I likes me the Twitter. Really. You can follow me @Jenndola. I know I’ve mentioned this before, but there’s a good reason I’m bringing this up again (apart from wanted lots more followers so I can build my army of tweeting minions).
Twitter – like most social organizations – has cliques. Or perhaps calling them cliques is unfair–it’s more groups of people who know each other well and generally don’t recognize the existence of others.
Yeah, I’m bitter and judgmental. It’s my blog, so I get to do that. Plus, I’m working toward a point here.
Tonight on Twitter I watched women chat back and forth. I tossed out a comment here and there, cracked a few jokes…and was, for the most part, ignored. (Not completely–there are some lovely exceptions, but I’m trying to make a point here, people. Stop interrupting.)
I felt hurt. I had something to contribute, and nobody was paying attention to me. I started to become sad until I had a stunning moment of clarity:
I don’t actually know these women. I’m getting depressed about being ignored by people who, for all intents and purposes, live inside my computer.
Yeah. Pretty pathetic.
I’ve spent some time tonight trying to pin down why on earth I need the validation of people I’ve never met, and here’s what I’ve come up with: deep down inside, I’m still the social outcast from middle school. I still believe no matter what I say, it won’t matter because I don’t matter.
I’m not in middle school anymore. I have something to say to the 12-year-old girl living inside of me.
You matter. You have interesting, sometimes even important things to say. Speak up, because people need to hear you. People want to hear you.
Make yourself heard.
Yeah, middle school sucked, but it was over 20 years ago. You turn 34 next week. You have two beautiful sons, a ridiculously patient husband, and a really annoying but still awesome dog who follows you everywhere. It’s time to be who you truly are, not who you think you are.
You’re good enough, you’re smart enough, and doggone it, people like you!
*My favorite moment while writing this post has to be when iTunes shuffled through “One Angry Dwarf and 200 Solemn Faces” by Ben Folds Five. If you know the song, you’ll get why that made me laugh. If you don’t know the song, you probably think I’m really weird for listening to a song about a dwarf. Stop judging me.
**The WordPress proofreader doesn’t recognize my Twitter handle. I have the overwhelming urge to yell, “Don’t you know who I am?!”
***I won’t, though. Everyone is asleep.
****Maybe I’ll do it tomorrow.
*****But probably not, because by then I’ll have forgotten.
******In fact, I’ve already forgotten what the crap I was talking about.