I am awesome. If I keep saying it, maybe I’ll start believing it.

28 05 2010

I’m here at the Casual Blogger Conference learning all sorts of nifty things about how to be even more awesome. (I know, it’s hard to believe that’s possible.)

The really funny thing? This is the first time I’ve had writer’s block. I’ve been blogging daily for over 2 months now, and I haven’t the foggiest what to write.

Suggestions from my roommates:

Amber: Write about your boobs.
Jessica: Write about how lame I am.
Jo: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Jo is obviously being the responsible adult. The rest of us are…well, okay, we were all sitting here playing Family Feud on Facebook. I think we may have broken some sort of lameness record there. (“What did you do on your fabulous night away from the family?” “Dude! I totally rocked the Family Feud!”

I was invited to go to a karaoke night and I really, really wanted to go…but it was at a bar.

My favorite moment of the evening: someone asked me if it was against my personal code to go to a bar. Hee. I probably should have said yes and left it at that, but of course I have to say “I’m a recovering addict.” For some reason that sounds less pathetic to me than “I’m holier-than-thou and going to a bar would offend the spirit.”

I’m a little concerned as to what that says about me. I’d rather be labeled as someone with serious issues than someone who’s very devout? I’d spend more time worrying about it, but I think I’ll say “That’s just how I roll” and let it be.

This conference is making me feel bipolar. I’m meeting so many wonderful people (I’ll provide links later–tonight I’m too tired) and having a ton of fun. At the same time, the second I’m not connecting with someone, I feel awkward, lonely and out-of-place. This makes no sense to me. Why can’t I cling to the good? Why can’t I say, “I’ve met awesome people. They think I’m equally awesome. Life is good.”

I could get into the whole “I’ve always felt fundamentally flawed” dialogue, but again, really tired. I’m mostly spewing rhetoric at this point, so I need to end this post.

I do want to make a special shout-out to Heather at Extraordinary-Ordinary. Her support and listening ear have been invaluable to me during the last 12 hours. Heather, you are an amazing woman!

I’ll try to be more interesting tomorrow, my peeps. I like that when I type “my peeps” I imagine all of you as rows of marshmallow-y goodness.

Now that I’ve moved into stream-of-consciousness, I really have to stop typing.





7 responses

31 05 2010

Soooo…. I AM bipolar… What you trying to SAY??? LOL!! JK!! (About the offense… I WISH about the BP… *sigh*)

ANYWAY… I missed GNO due to a migraine and feel like I TOTALLY missed out! Then I was the awkward wall flower loner on Friday… and FINALLY ventured out beyond my “safety zone” and connected with some REALLY AWESOME PEOPLE on Saturday!! Sunday I was MANIC and then CRASHED!!! Woke and took the dogs out at 11:30pm and couldn’t go BACK to sleep… GAH!!! WHY can’t I JUST be NORMAL?? ;p

I laughed at the karaoke thing… I can relate… although before I was “gooder”… I DID go hang with peeps occasionally and do the karaoke thing. I didn’t DO anything BAD… yeah… appearances… yada yada… So hubby is retired from CES and I am his TRIAL (He was a widower… lost his wife to cancer… we’re going on 13 years…) to earn his place in the Celestial kingdom… Imagine his awkward feelings the first time (we were on a cruise) I dragged him into a lounge for karaoke… He’d never SEEN THAT side of me… LOL!! So I’ve never DRAGGED him into any BARS… LOL!! But to him, just being in that lounge where drinks were being served made him VERY uncomfortable… *sigh* (((HUGS)))

30 05 2010

go for boobs, definitely. they’re magnificent.

29 05 2010
Heather of the EO

I love you. And I get you. And I’m glad you’re here.

29 05 2010

Nice boobs.

29 05 2010
Kristina P.

It’s so funny, because I totally thought about the recovering addict thing. And it’s a heck of a whole lot easier to use that line than saying, “It’s against my religion.”, when it’s a bunch of Mormons going.

I didn’t go either. Sleepy.

29 05 2010

Hey, “recovering addict” is a whole lot easier for most people to cope with than “No way, bars are for icky sinners like YOU”. 😀

Glad you’re (mostly) having a good time!

29 05 2010

I’ll be a yellow peep.

Love, Mel’s daughter


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