The Rest of the Story

8 05 2010

I grew up listening to Paul Harvey. I distinctly remember waiting to hear continuations of the incredible stories he told, always wrapped up with, “And now you know…the rest of the story.”

In the spirit of Paul Harvey, I present…the rest of the story. Tonight I sat down with Car, giving him the chance to present his take on our courtship. To keep things a little more readable, my questions and comments will be black, and Car’s will be blue.

What was your first impression of me?

You were in a pretty pissy mood. I don’t remember what you were doing or saying. You just came across as a really unpleasant person. And I don’t remember saying anything about your eyes.

Do you remember how bad Georgia’s feet smelled?

I definitely remember you complaining about them.

What were your impressions of me post-Monopoly?

You were very cute and funny. I think I did mention something to Nathan about pretty eyes at that point.

I think one key thing you’re missing is the incredibly entertaining message I left on your answering machine.

Message? I vaguely recall something about a message. Tell me more.

I don’t remember the specific details. It was something like I called up and got the machine and said it was me, and I knew you were all too excited to answer the phone, but I’m used to that and I’ll talk you through it. And I said stuff about taking deep breaths or something. You and your roommates said you listened to it a few times because you were so entertained.

We did? Huh. Whatever you say. When did you know you had to have me?

It was that same night at Cougar Video when you noticed me. I remember that at some point you walked up behind me and put your hand on my back, and it was all like, whoo! I even think I wrote something in a notebook about it.

At this point I’d normally write something about how very girly that was of him, but you guys, he pulled out this old battered notebook and flipped through it and he’d written a poem about me touching him. A poem!

You wrote a poem about me? You never told me that!

I’m pretty sure I did. You just weren’t very interested.

So…Cougar Video. Why don’t we discuss what you did that night to get my attention?

Oh. Yeah. That was the same night I got comfy with your pillow. We were sitting around watching a movie, and you offered me a pillow since I was on the floor. I determined it was your pillow. At that point, being young and single, I liked to wear cologne. My thought was if I snuggled up to your pillow close enough, that some of my cologne would rub off on your pillow. That night when you went to sleep, you’d smell my cologne and think of me. I really love this, because he was trying so hard and I was completely oblivious. I remember someone–possibly you–making a comment about me getting fresh with your pillow.

How did you feel when I accepted, then rejected, your first date offer?

I don’t remember any super interesting feelings. He was so crushed by disappointment that he’s blocked the soul-crushing despair from memory. How sweet.

What do you remember about our first date?

I remember biting you on the foot. I can’t remember why.

I totally remember that, and I can’t remember why either. Weirdo.

On this rare and momentous occasion where you have a voice in my blog, is there anything you’d like to say to my readers?

Not that I can think of.

Seriously? Nothing?

Is there something you think I’d like to talk about?

Just how awesome I am. Stop laughing. Jerk.

I am kind of surprised you actually dated a guy who drove an RV. And not even my own RV. An RV I borrowed from my dad.

Are you calling me superficial?

You know what I remember? You were dating lots of guys, so I thought my chance of hooking up with you was really small because you were so fun and outgoing.

That’s why I married you. You’re obviously intelligent and perceptive.

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5 responses

10 05 2010
rachel

wow, car is super-smooth. kind of like your leg!
and i totally had an account at cougar video.

11 05 2010
Jenny

I like your use of “leg” in the singular. I think I’m going to be up until 3 am or so finishing the other.

10 05 2010
Amber

Ahh, young love. 😉

10 05 2010
Janice

I love that he got fresh with your pillow so that you would think of him when you slept. He clearly had it bad for you!!! How cute!!!

9 05 2010
Kristina P.

You are clearly perfect for each other.

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