My pharmacy has a drive-up window. As you may have inferred from the title of this post, I hate it with the passion of a thousand fiery suns.
Today, for your reading enjoyment, I present:
Drive-Up Etiquette (or, Why You’re Lucky I Can’t Reach Out and Stab You in the Eye)
1. Get. Off. Your. Phone. Seriously. If you want us to help you, stop talking to your spouse/boyfriend/kid/baby daddy/drug dealer and pay attention to the person trying to give you (legal) drugs.
2. Press the call button once. We know you can’t hear it ding, but we can. When you press it 5 times in 10 seconds, we have the overwhelming urge to make you wait…just because we can.
3. If we ask for your picture ID, just send it. You have no idea how tempted we are to call the cops when you claim you have no ID with you. You drove here.
4. If you’re picking up a large prescription–nebulizer solutions, a giant bottle of Miralax, insulin syringes (to name a few)–don’t come to the drive-up. They don’t fit in the tube, and we’re not going to run them out to your car. We also prefer you not use the drive-up if you have 20 prescriptions.
5. If we tell you it will be ready in 15 minutes, don’t come back in 5 minutes and park yourself in the drive-up. Chances are your prescription isn’t finished, and you’re not our only customer.
6. When we ask if you need anything else, don’t say, “Yeah, an order of fries.” It’s not funny. It wasn’t funny the first time we heard it, and it certainly isn’t any better the 5,892th time.
7. If you’re the passenger in the car, please have the driver do the talking. As much as we enjoy trying to lip-read through the surveillance camera, it simplifies things to have the driver actually speak into the microphone. I realize it isn’t his or her prescription, but if you don’t trust a person to ask for your pills, you probably ought not trust that person to drive you around.
8. If you’re driving a diesel truck, turn off your engine. See above item about lip reading.
I know there are more things that bug me (When are there not?), but I have to go to bed at a reasonable time tonight. Tomorrow I get to spend seven hours being annoyed by people at the drive-up. Whee!
*Also? I have strep throat. And it sucks. Yes, that means I’m spending tomorrow spreading strep to all our pharmacy customers. I figure they gave it to me, so it’s karma.
**Shut up, WordPress. Whee is a totally legitimate word.