The Drive-Up Window is My Archnemesis

29 04 2010

My pharmacy has a drive-up window. As you may have inferred from the title of this post, I hate it with the passion of a thousand fiery suns.

Satan's Preferred Transportation System

Today, for your reading enjoyment, I present:

Drive-Up Etiquette (or, Why You’re Lucky I Can’t Reach Out and Stab You in the Eye)

1. Get. Off. Your. Phone. Seriously. If you want us to help you, stop talking to your spouse/boyfriend/kid/baby daddy/drug dealer and pay attention to the person trying to give you (legal) drugs.

2. Press the call button once. We know you can’t hear it ding, but we can. When you press it 5 times in 10 seconds, we have the overwhelming urge to make you wait…just because we can.

3. If we ask for your picture ID, just send it. You have no idea how tempted we are to call the cops when you claim you have no ID with you. You drove here.

4. If you’re picking up a large prescription–nebulizer solutions, a giant bottle of Miralax, insulin syringes (to name a few)–don’t come to the drive-up. They don’t fit in the tube, and we’re not going to run them out to your car. We also prefer you not use the drive-up if you have 20 prescriptions.

5. If we tell you it will be ready in 15 minutes, don’t come back in 5 minutes and park yourself in the drive-up. Chances are your prescription isn’t finished, and you’re not our only customer.

6. When we ask if you need anything else, don’t say, “Yeah, an order of fries.” It’s not funny. It wasn’t funny the first time we heard it, and it certainly isn’t any better the 5,892th time.

7. If you’re the passenger in the car, please have the driver do the talking. As much as we enjoy trying to lip-read through the surveillance camera, it simplifies things to have the driver actually speak into the microphone. I realize it isn’t his or her prescription, but if you don’t trust a person to ask for your pills, you probably ought not trust that person to drive you around.

8. If you’re driving a diesel truck, turn off your engine. See above item about lip reading.

I know there are more things that bug me (When are there not?), but I have to go to bed at a reasonable time tonight. Tomorrow I get to spend seven hours being annoyed by people at the drive-up. Whee!

*Also? I have strep throat. And it sucks. Yes, that means I’m spending tomorrow spreading strep to all our pharmacy customers. I figure they gave it to me, so it’s karma.

**Shut up, WordPress. Whee is a totally legitimate word.

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14 responses

6 11 2010
Another Peevish Pharmacy Post « Like Swimming

[…] when I talked about my archnemesis, the drive-thru? I’m adding a new item to the etiquette list: When I ask for your picture ID, simply holding […]

15 09 2010
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29 07 2010
9 Ways to Endear Yourself to Your Pharmacy « Like Swimming

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5 05 2010
Stefani

Love it! So true! Thanks for sharing :)_

1 05 2010
rachel

macey’s pharmacy has about a billion signs on the drive-up window addressing some of these issues. i’m guessing that idiots still violate the rules, though. satan’s preferred transportation method, tee hee!

1 05 2010
Jocelyn

I just tried my pharmacy’s drive thru window for the first time recently. I’m making a special note of this! LOL

1 05 2010
jenndola

Jocelyn, I thank you, and your pharmacy thanks you! 😉

1 05 2010
Gina

Came over from MMB…
I used to work at a bank, and we obviously had a drive up too, and ALL THESE THINGS were the same and were SO ANNOYING! Also, the radio should be turned off- I need YOU to answer questions, and listening to the Black Eyed Peas isn’t going to help. And the cigarette smokers used to make me crazy too! You can’t imagine the smells that money absorbs…

Great post. The world must read this.

1 05 2010
jenndola

Oh, yes. Nothing like opening up a canister, only to be assaulted by the smell of cigarettes. Makes you wonder what their car must smell like!

30 04 2010
The Damsel in DisDress

Wandered over from MMB. Fun blog! I’ll be back.

1 05 2010
jenndola

Thanks, Damsel! We try to have a good time over here. 🙂

30 04 2010
Emily

LOL LOL so funny! wish more people had some sense!!

30 04 2010
Janice

You make me laugh!!! Sorry you have strep!!! Get better soon!!!

P.S. I love exclamation points!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1 05 2010
jenndola

I noticed!!!!!!! 😉

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