Muffin and I, like many parents, have a nightly bedtime routine with the kids. It helps the kids settle down, plus it’s a nice way to sit down as a family and read a few stories. Here’s what I saw at the beginning of a recent bedtime:
Big G, grabbing Little G’s hand: “Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself!”
As I tried really hard to not laugh, Muffin looked at me and said, “Gee, I wonder where he learned that.”
My kids are always watching me. Sometimes (like, say, when I’m using the bathroom) this is a little bit creepy. (Yes, I close the door, but they’re still there. To make sure I remember that, they shove things under the door at regular intervals.) It’s like I’m on Big Brother but never actually gave consent. The hardest part? I’m human. I make stupid mistakes. I say things that ought not be repeated, and yet there they are, like little tape recorders.
The upside? It’s not just me. One night I had a chat with Muffin about not using the word “butt” in front of the kids, and he informed me that he was very careful about what he said in front of the kids. As we stood up to walk into the living room, he picked up Little G and said, “Somebody has a stinky butt!”