And Then The Dog Totally Frenched Me

30 03 2010

Hey, remember how yesterday I was all introspective? Yeah, that lasted all of one night. Not that I won’t revisit my deeper side…but I obviously have more important matters at hand.

Big G, as many of you know, has pinkeye. He also has your basic garden-variety cold, so right now he’s pretty much a cornucopia of icky secretions. And if there’s one thing a 4-year-0ld can do, it’s make himself even MORE disgusting. To that end, today I noticed that Big G has a freakishly giraffe-like tongue and will sit there and lick the snot off his own nose. (Did you just throw up a little in your mouth? Because I did.) In the interest of scientific discovery, I had to see if this fact was as bizarre as I thought…and try to touch my nose with my tongue. (FYI: I can do it, but not easily.)

Creepy Tigger

So I’m laying on the floor with my tongue flapping out of my mouth and THE DOG COMES OVER AND LICKS MY TONGUE! As if that isn’t traumatic enough, as I’m sputtering, Big G decides the whole thing is hilarious and proceeds to lick the side of my face.

I was told a lot of things while I was pregnant, but I’m fairly certain nobody mentioned that I’d need a decontamination shower in my home.

Today’s scorecard: Pinkeye – 2, Smiths – 2 (3 if you count the pervy but conjunctivally healthy Tigger)

*Yes, I’m aware that I changed verb tenses multiple times during this post. I’m attributing it to post-traumatic stress.




10 responses

1 04 2010

Oh thank goodness you have moderation set up. The last comment I left will probably never make it past that step. Here’s one for everyone, without so much crazy on it.

Okay, I followed your link from the bloggess – you left your post on her comments (3/31). Like the blog, and I’ll be reading more!

31 03 2010

And yet, in spite of the trauma to Tigger, he portrays a zen-like attitude!

31 03 2010
Life of a Doctor's Wife

This about sums up every fear I have about motherhood/pet ownership.

Just found your blog – and am loving reading your posts. You make me giggle.

31 03 2010

I kiss my dog on the mouth ALL the time! Just make sure you’re up to date on your distemper and parvo shots and you’ll be fine…

PS: Tigger’s a very cute old fellow. I’ve never seen a close-up of him before.

PPS: Maybe you accidentally got a booger on your phone and that’s why Big G decided to taste it.

31 03 2010

Oh yuck! Not being a dog person anyone that just…. *shUdder*…. and yet funny. =)
Good luck with your daily posting!
Visiting from MMB!

31 03 2010
JL Kaylor

found you on mormon mommy blogs!!!! Your dog is soo much like mine!!! I was babysitting my nephew one time… and he totally crawled over to my dog ( who is half bulldog/ half bassett hound and i think at least one part hippo) and they totally were making out!!! I was like….. GROSS!!!!! I was able to tear them off each other, lol!!!! Dogs are so funny, but then again, so are we 🙂
Come see me!!!

31 03 2010

Jenn, if you enjoy it that much, come over to my house. I have 2 dogs that will keep you occupied for as long as you want to be.

31 03 2010
Jeweled Ambrosia

funny! your dog looks totally like my dog

31 03 2010

Wow! That did make me throw up in my mouth a little bit. Yuck!

I read your post from yesterday or the day before…the introspective one…what a great post!

31 03 2010

You poor thing! Two words…Mouth Wash! 🙂

I’m over at!

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