Because Today I Can’t Dwell on the Sad

28 03 2012

This week sucks. I wish I had a poetic way to phrase that—something that would really resonate with you—but when I try to think it through, I remember that I’ve cried every day this week (multiple times on some days) and I’m overwhelmed by the sad and I can’t deal with that right now. I won’t deal with that right now.

Here’s what I’m going to do instead: I’m going to tell you a funny story about my day today. I’m telling you this story because I need to remember that something made me smile today.

I especially need to remember that Big G made me smile today.

Background: We’re nearing a diagnosis for Big G. It will likely be high-functioning autism or pervasive developmental disorder, not otherwise specified (PPD-NOS). Both are considered autism spectrum disorders. One of the ways this presents in Big G is his very literal mind. Figurative speech and sarcasm are pretty much lost on him.

Yeah. You read that right. I have a kid that doesn’t get sarcasm. It’s all good, though. I’m only a little bit sarcastic. (You know, kind of like the Grand Canyon is just a little fissure in the rock.)

Anyway, today we were having lunch and Little G started whining that he needed someone to take the crusts off his sandwich. (Little G is going through a serious whining phase. It’s awesome.) “Take them off yourself,” I told him.

“But it’s sooooo hard!” he whined.

“Oh, honey. Do I need to do it for you? Are your arms broken? How terrible for you! I had no idea your arms were broken! I’ll take those crusts off right away!”

At this point Big G felt the need to step in. “Mom,” he said, with utter seriousness, “I think he’s trying to tell you that the crusts are hard to take off. I don’t think his arms are actually broken.”

I started giggling. “Thanks, Big G. I appreciate the heads-up.”

It’s good that Little G has a big brother who looks out for him.

*My mantra for the week: I love my children. They are not minions of Satan sent to torment me.

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4 responses

3 06 2012
What? why? and which way KNOW??? « ganderingdreams

[...] Because Today I Can’t Dwell on the Sad (likeswimming.wordpress.com) [...]

5 04 2012
LaurieBee

Two of my sister’s children are autistic. The one thing she has always said is that she’s glad the first two children were NOT autistic or she would have thought she was a bad mom when she had trouble handling #3 & #4. So I guess the advice she would give you is to always remember you are a GOOD MOM. I know you’ll get through this!

30 03 2012
Wendy Sparrow

I’m sorry I don’t have any cool words to give you, but I will say that with enough of a constant barrage of sarcasm even kids on the spectrum learn to recognize it eventually. I say that like I’m proud… but I’m not… I’m quite ashamed… sort of… not really. Hey, it’s a good skill for them and not at all a reflection that sarcasm is a coping mechanism for me.

28 03 2012
Rebecca S

Oh Jenny, I understand and it will get better! I wish I could hug you right now and tell you some of the awesome that will come with this particular diagnosis. Someone told me its like you get sent on an awesome trip to the Netherlands after you planned a trip to Paris your whole life. It’s still amazing just not at all what you’ve ever dreamed or expected. Keep looking for the good everyday. Xo

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