I’m kinda weird.
If you weren’t aware of that, hi! I’m Jenny, and this must be your first visit to my blog.
Today I was thinking about phobias. Everybody has them. Most of mine are pretty common–spiders, heights, enclosed spaces. (I actually didn’t realize I was claustrophobic until I had an MRI. Yeah. Should’ve taken the Valium.)
Some of my phobias are…well, we’ll call them idiosyncratic.
Strange phobia #1:
Bridges. Maybe this isn’t that odd. Are a lot of people afraid of bridges? I’ll fly on a plane any day, but get me near a bridge and I practically hyperventilate until we’ve crossed it. This could be because I lived in the Bay Area in 1989 when this happened:
So it’s a justifiable phobia, right? I have water issues, too. That probably doesn’t help.
Strange phobia #2:
Nipples. No, I’m not afraid nipples will attack me (that just created a really frightening visual and I might not sleep tonight). I would just prefer to ignore their existence. Every woman should wear a bra. Seriously, people. I know you have nipples. You don’t need to prove it to me.
I blame this phobia on Billy Blanks:
Do you see that? It’s like his nipple is taunting me. If you’ve ever watched the basic Tae Bo video, you know that Billy Blanks’ nipples play hide-and-seek the entire time. It’s beyond disturbing.
Strange Phobia #3:
Windmills. Shut up. I’m not talking about the cute little Dutch windmills that make you think of people wearing wooden clogs, carrying around tulips. I’m talking about these ungodly creations:
Laugh it up, suckers. When one of those blades breaks loose and mows you down, I’ll be the one laughing. Actually, I’ll probably be screaming. But you get the idea.
*Today’s pathetic effort by the WordPress proofreader to make me feel inferior: the words “hi,” “should’ve” and “hyperventilate.” Really, proofreader, it’s like you’re not even trying anymore.